Late afternoon in Scott Valley comes on slowly: long gold light, the mountains going blue at the edges, a cold glass beading on the bar. The Journal is for everyone, and not everyone comes here for sunrise yoga. Some come for a valley-wide drink tour, and they're every bit as welcome. I'm a yoga-and-hiking person myself, and I'll still tell you this: "Every one of the most unmemorable memorable nights ends at the Callahan Emporium." Here's how to get there fed, watered and with a sober driver holding the keys.
First, the driver
This is the one part we won't be playful about. There's no taxi or ride-share in Scott Valley, and we haven't found a shuttle or private driver either. The Callahan Emporium is 12.7 miles south of Etna on two-lane Highway 3, and this time of year you'll drive home in the dark. Watch for deer.
So before the first round, choose a designated driver who drinks nothing all day. Not a sip at the tasting, and not "just one" at the end. Two cars means two sober drivers.
Then look after them. The group covers their food, they get first pick of every plate, and the best seat at every table is theirs.
Everyone else, three rules: eat at every stop, drink a glass of water with every round, and no one drives who drank.
The route: Friday or Saturday
Noon. Five Marys Burgerhouse, Fort Jones. Start 15 minutes north of Etna at 11825 Main St, a bar and grill with beef from the family's own ranch. Line every stomach first: share a Bacon Bourbon Burger with hand-cut fries, and order a Mary's Sidecar for anyone not driving. Doors open at noon.
2 pm. Denny Bar Co., Etna. Back in Etna at 511 Main St, take the free distillery tour and tasting, then see what its own vodka, gin and whiskey become in a cocktail. The free tours run Friday to Sunday and take 20 to 25 minutes; call (530) 467-5115 to book. The tasting is for guests 21 and over, so the driver takes the tour and skips the pour. Split a wood-fired pizza before you leave, the Asado or the bacon dill pickle.
3:30 pm. Etna Brewing Co., Etna. At 131 Callahan St, order the award-winning porter, the mac and cheese for the table and a round of water. Ask whether the house root beer is the soft kind before you hand one to the driver. Hard seltzers come to go, for the garden later. The taproom is open until 8.
5 pm. The Callahan Emporium, Callahan. Drive 12.7 miles south on Highway 3, 15 to 20 minutes, to 12511 Highway 3. It closes about 7, so arrive by 5. On Friday and Saturday nights there's rib-eye: order it, because this is dinner. Craft beer and cider are on tap, and some Saturdays a band plays, often after 3 pm. There's no posted schedule, so check the Emporium's Facebook page or call (530) 467-3395.
Why it ends here
By five you've had a burger, a tasting and a pint, and what the evening wants is a seat at a historic bar, a rib-eye and a room with a past. The Emporium was once the Baker Hotel and reopened in 2011. Today it's a bar, deli and general store, and its wall of dollar bills holds more stories than anyone at your table. It closes about 7, so the night ends while it's still a good one. You won't remember every joke. You'll remember the dollar bills, the rib-eye, and the quiet drive home with someone sober at the wheel. That's what unmemorable memorable means.
The reverse route: end in Etna
Rather finish within walking distance of bed? Flip it. The driver's shift ends at 2 pm, when the car is parked for the night, and everyone walks home.
11 am. The Callahan Emporium opens. Share a tri-tip sub and the family-recipe potato salad; rib-eye is a night thing, so it stays with the first version.
12:30 pm. Five Marys Burgerhouse, about 30 minutes north, back through Etna.
2 pm. Park at the house, hang up the keys, and walk to Denny Bar Co. for the tour and tasting.
3:30 pm. Etna Brewing Co., then dinner at Denny Bar Co. and a short walk home under the stars.
Good to know
Friday or Saturday works best. Five Marys opens at noon; Denny Bar Co. is closed Monday and Tuesday, Etna Brewing Co. Tuesday and Wednesday, and the Emporium Monday. Check hours before you go.
The Emporium closes about 7 (an older listing said 9). Call (530) 467-3395 to confirm before you drive down.
Call Denny Bar Co. at (530) 467-5115 to book the free distillery tour, which runs Friday to Sunday.
Scott Valley's own natural wine, Iruai, opens its winery only for special events, so order a few bottles ahead for a quiet glass in the garden another night.
Bring ID: the drinking age in California is 21.
No taxi, no ride-share: settle on your sober driver before the first stop.
See open dates and prices for your stay at Blossom Sanctuary, a short walk from Etna's taproom and distillery, where the wood stove and the cloud couch wait at the end of the night. Join the Orbit for letters from the house; the welcome gift is 20% off a first stay booked on our website. Planning for a group? Text the concierge at 530 572 1122 or write to Concierge@blossomsanctuary.com.